My husband doesn’t want to be replaced at the birth of our child, will this happen if I have a doula?
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Dad’s or partners are the most important support person for the laboring mother. They know the mom best and are more of a part of this new child’s life then anybody else. It is so important that partners are able to help the mother through her labor. Having a doula will not take away from this in anyway. In fact, doulas are very helpful in helping the laboring couple work together, raising the satisfaction of birth for both parents.

Dads have a very hard job. Their job is not quite as much work as the laboring mother, but the dads also don’t have the hormone cocktail to help them through the hard work. Dad’s need a break whether it is to take a short nap or eat a snack or possibly a meal, to fully be there for the mom. If the dad is alone with the laboring mom, it can be very frightening for her to be left alone during this time. Also, if he must eat, it should never be done in-front of the mom who may be very hungry but can not eat because of hospital orders.

Dad’s also can feel very helpless because things are not what they expected or there may be something that is out of their control. Dad’s are the closest person to the mom and they know them best. Many times when a dad see’s the mom struggling, he gets worried and wants to do anything to make her comfortable. Sometimes all she needs is an empathetic person to calmly help her through a contraction. A doula will catch on to this and help set the father at ease.

One of my jobs as the doula often times has been to help the dad help the mom. Sometimes dad’s don’t know what to do, what might help the mom if she just keeps getting frustrated at him for not doing the right thing. Doulas are experienced and know what women in labor need so I often give ask the dad to help me with something specific or I will have him do something like rub her feet or put a cool cloth on her forehead when I notice it is needed.

Dad’s and doulas truly work as a perfect team for the laboring mother and the doula can help the dad enjoy the experience as much as the mom.

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Pictures by: Corine Merlo-Przenkop


Conscious Birth is serving Placentia, Yorba Linda, Fullerton, Brea, Anaheim, Irvine, Newport Beach, Alicia Viejo, Mission Viejo and other Orange County, CA cities. I am also very near, some Riverside and San Bernardino County cities. If you are interested in meeting with me, please e-mail kristen@bestocdoula.com or call 714/269-0172.